Another countdown

So, Friday was not so good. My follicles were growing but not as fast and large as we'd hoped. In fact, there were four or maybe five follicles -- i.e. maturing eggs -- that were doing relatively well; the low threshold for an IVF cycle (making it worthwhile to harvest and try fertilizing the eggs) is six. I'd been hoping for at least nine, maybe eleven or even sixteen.

Our doctor basically gave us three options: forge ahead, with a low probability of success; stop, and turn the cycle into an IUI cycle (insemination instead of fertilization); or continue with more hormone injections over the weekend, and see where we're at Monday, and make a final decision then.

We opted for the third. So, three days and three hundred and thirty dollars' worth of Repronex later, we're on our way to the clinic again.

This is classic Emi: very deliberate (i.e. indecisive) over very important life things. I took a year off after high school because I didn't know whether to go to Stanford or stay in Japan and experience being "fully" Japanese. I took a year off after college, because I couldn't decide between going to film school in LA, NY, or London. Now, even my unfertilized, certainly unborn eggs are being indecisive: "I'm kind of maturning... but kinda slowly... not sure if I want to participate in this cycle... are we really ready?...Hmmm...."

After some soul searching on Friday (which I spent completely in a daze), I spent much of the weekend meditating, talking to my eggs and follicles, and napping. Frankly, I've been REALLY exhausted, and feeling bad cuz Mark's the one on his feet all day -- until a fertility counselor reminded me that my body is dealing with tremendous stress, trying to incorporate all these hormones and create at least five eggs where usually there's only one.


{the syringes I've used in the last 10 days.}

So that made sense. My body needed rest, so I gave it some rest. It was good.

Anyway, on our way now. More later.