22 May 2007

for example

Here's a piece of the fertility*-obsessed mind:

One of the stories I'm writing for work is about a young woman who dies from mysterious blood clots. Now, the series is a melodrama disguised as a medical mystery, so there's always a fine line between writing just the facts ma'am, and pumping up the drama. I tend to be rather subtle, and prefer to let things unfold naturally, but that often falls short when it comes to precisely structuring story points...for TV. Anyway, I unexpectedly got a bunch of rewrite notes from the network executive, which threw me off; of course it bothered me, despite knowing there's major upheaval going on at Discovery, and both my bosses telling me repeatedly that they never once thought this script was anything but brilliant.

So I'm doing these rewrites, which are coming along fine, and then I find myself staring down at the exec's comment: "Writing is too sterile." Sterile. I'm sterile.

I know I'm not, technically. Our baby-making predicament is not so dire. But it feels like I am, every month. Every month, when the blood begins.

So the tears came. Softly.

Like always.

*Apparently, the terms fertility and infertility are interchangeable for the most part: i.e. "fertility problem" and "infertility problem." So "they" suggest using "fertility" as much as possible, since it's more positive-minded. You be the judge.


Jennifer said...

Or you could say temporary obstacle to fertility...if you really wanted to be positive!

Emi Macuaga said...

it's really such a mind game. the pressure to relax & stay positive!

all those basketball practices come to mind: visualize... believe and your body will respond.